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Every person is unique in the way he or she handles the loss of a loved one. While the grieving process is different for each of us, we all experience some common feelings as we work toward healing from our loss.
Our responses to the different feelings that occur during the grieving process are often described as “stages.” These stages are not tied down to “real time”, and people do not necessarily move in and out of the stages in an orderly, straightforward manner. Stages can last for minutes or hours. It is not unusual to move into and out of one stage and then to another, and cycle back again to the first one. You may find yourself repeating this process a number of times as you continue to work through your grief.
There are five commonly observed stages that people experience during the grieving process. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
At the beginning, you may feel a sense of detachment, shock, or numbness. You may even wonder why you are not more upset over your loss. This feeling of disconnection is a survival response. It is simply nature's way of helping you to continue to function on a basic level while under extreme stress. Denial is a tool that unconsciously enables you to do the things that are necessary to carry on with your life in the days immediately following your loss.
Anger provides a bridge of connection from the initial numbness of grief. You may find yourself angry at the doctors, your family, the loved one who died, or at God. Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Your anger is connected to your pain. The more you truly allow yourself to feel your anger alongside the pain, the more it will diminish, and the more you will heal.
Before and after a loss, you may feel like you would have done anything if only your loved one would be spared. “If only” and “what if” becomes a recurrent thought. Guilt often accompanies bargaining. You may wonder if you could have done anything differently so that your loved one might still be alive. You may try to second-guess the doctors and yourself. You may revert to living in the past to avoid the pain of the present.
After bargaining, feelings of emptiness and grief present themselves on a deeper level. This depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate response to a great loss. When a loss fully settles in your soul, and you realize that your loved one is not coming back, feelings of deep sadness (depression) are normal. To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be very unusual. Depression is a necessary step toward healing.
Eventually you come to terms with your bereavement as you move into the acceptance stage of grief. At this point, the loss has become part of your story and your history. It does not consume your life in the same way it did to begin with. With acceptance comes increased peace. As you move through this stage, you will find yourself once more interested in and able to enjoy some of the things that you formerly liked to do. You may develop new interests and relationships. You have learned to live with your loss in a way that is constructive and healing.
Every person is different, and so is their grief. Each person will follow a different path toward healing. Although there is no right or wrong amount of time to complete the grieving process, many experts agree that it is not unusual to take at least a year to move through the grieving process.
The duration of the mourning process can also be influenced by your relationship to the deceased, the amount of support you receive, and other factors.
Sometimes the healing process may become disrupted or delayed if other events or traumatic losses have previously occurred in a person’s life. This may be especially true if the other loss is relatively recent, or has never been fully processed in and of itself. This grief experience is known as “complicated grief.” People who are dealing with this type of grief may benefit by working with professionals who are trained in dealing with complex grief issues.
If, after some time has passed, you find your grief is still persistent and disruptive to the point where it impacts your daily functions, please seek professional counseling.
Jim is originally from Orange, Texas and attended Northwestern State University while on a golf scholarship. Jim graduated in 1993 with a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration.
After graduation, he returned to Texas, where he started a family and worked for an industrial transportation warehouse.
In 2002, Jim received a degree in Applied Sciences from the Dallas Institute of Funeral Sciences and returned to Natchitoches. He has been professionally employed as a licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer since obtaining this degree.
Jim joined the staff at Blanchard-St. Denis in March 2008 and became General Manager in 2017. Jim’s level of care for the families he serves is shown everyday by his strong work ethic and his compassion for others at one of the most difficult times in their life.
He is married to Laura Flores and together they are owners of a local restaurant. In his spare time, Jim enjoys spending time with his family and occasionally playing golf with his son, Joe.
Dawn Slaughter has been a resident of Natchitoches since 1994. She moved to Natchitoches from Bossier City to attend Northwestern State University, but South Louisiana will always be “home”. Her dad spent 23 years in the Air Force, during which time she was fortunate enough to live abroad for 3 years and traveled to several countries. She met her husband Jason, at NSU. They have three beautiful daughters, Madison, Morgan, and Mikayla. In 2011, she graduated from Northwestern.
She was a stay-at-home mom for many years. Her husband has subcontracted for cemetery service for the funeral home for over 20 years. She began working at Blanchard-St. Denis Funeral Home in November of 2018 as the office administrator and received her funeral director’s license in July of 2019. Dawn takes pride in helping the families of Natchitoches during some of their most difficult times, and helping them prepare their final arrangements to lessen the grief for their families.
Dawn is very active in her church, teaching her little third graders in Sunday School and singing in the choir at Christmas time. She is a member of the Les Amies Service Organization and enjoys volunteering in the community. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time with her family, cooking and quilting. She is her daughter’s biggest fan in all of their pursuits.
Hunter was raised in Many, Louisiana, he graduated from Negreet High School in 2013. He then obtained an associate degree in applied sciences from Dallas institute of Funeral Service to practice Funeral Directing and Embalming.
In December of 2022, Hunter joined the staff of Blanchard-St. Denis Funeral Home. Through Hunter’s 10 years of service in the funeral industry he learned how much he loves helping families through the toughest time of their life. Hunter takes pride in treating each family he cares for like his own.
Hunter has two children, Anniston Kate and Lawson. In his spare time, he enjoys fishing, hunting, watching any kind of sport, but most of all spending time his children and family.
Tommy started his career with Blanchard St. Denis working part-time. He joined our funeral home full-time in 2011 after retiring from the United States Postal Service with 37 years of service.
Tommy is a lifelong resident of Natchitoches where he graduated from St. Mary’s High School in 1970. He furthered his education by receiving an associate degree from Northwestern State University.
He is married to Lisa McClellan. They have 4 children between them and are fondly known as Pepaw and Nana to 8 wonderful grandchildren. Tommy loves the game of golf and plays every chance he gets. He is also a wonderful cook and enjoys doing so for his family.
Tommy is passionate about caring for and seeing the needs of others. He takes pride in helping the people in his community during one of the most difficult times in their life.
Steve was born in Natchitoches and raised in Montgomery. When he graduated from high school, he attended NSU and studied mechanical arts.
He began his career with Gifford Hill and Company, a major construction supply company. While working full-time Steve attended the Shreveport Beauty Academy at night and received his license for makeup and hair styling. After 30 years he retired from Gifford Hill as Regional Manager for the Southwest region.
Steve began working for Blanchard St. Denis in 2012. His new endeavor with our firm gave him the opportunity to work in funeral service, a field he had always wanted to be a part of. Steve loves working side by side with the team at Blanchard St. Denis and helping families after the loss of a loved one.
Steve is married to Phyllis Kinkle Stroud, they have 3 wonderful daughters and 6 beautiful grandchildren.
Anthony lives in Natchitoches. He was born and reared on Cane River and went to school at St. Joseph Elementary and St. Matthew High School in Melrose.
He is married to Janet and they have 2 sons, 6 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren.
Anthony retired in 2006 from L&L Automotive which he co-owned with his brother. He then opened Anthony’s Auto, selling used cars. He also helps Janet with her catering business, Tatae’s. Anthony joined the team at Blanchard St. Denis in 2020.
Anthony Loves traveling with Janet, spending time with family and talking about cars with his sons and grandsons.
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